the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did I show you my penis last night?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
