Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
