you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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