that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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