his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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