Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
