I smell stomach acid.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
