So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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