ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
