Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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