chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You smell like stripper and shame
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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