my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
