just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
