i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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