maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
