For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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