At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
