windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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