it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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