god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Another day, another engagement, another cat
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize