my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
