so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
