You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize