did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
