I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
