as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
