He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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