you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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