so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
