why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
