I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
