does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
