Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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