Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
