STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
