We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
