Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
