Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
