Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
