Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You took a bar mat shot.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
