dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
