Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
