Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
