I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
