weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He kissed a someone with a penis
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
