My hand turned me down
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize