I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You took a bar mat shot.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
