This girl is more easily done than said...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
