Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
