You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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