I love black thongs
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize