her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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