I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
