btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
