u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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