just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
