so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
