wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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