We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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