I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
