why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
