Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
