Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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