You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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