that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
NoShamevember. You game?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize