Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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