it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
